Art by Trevor Kodama

TENEBRIS

Definition - Latin. Meaning, “Darkness”.

AN ARTIST STATEMENT 

I tend to dwell in my head. I think and think and think. I dislike taking action unless I have a plan, but at the same time if I think too much, I do not feel like doing anything. There is a sweet spot when it comes to inspiration that I have difficulty finding. In this manner, creativity is an agonizing and almost maddening endeavour for me. 

THE STORY

Going into the semester of my 2019 BFA show, I scrapped previous plans and decided to do something new. Advice from teachers and instructors pulled me in different directions. Some were telling me to play it safe and don’t do anything crazy. Others said to embrace the uncertainty, with others further saying that this was a time to explore and grow. This resulted in me wandering in circles in my mind, coming up with a few partial ideas but still staring at an empty work area. With time fading and almost half the semester through, It wasn’t until I took a hike with friends did things start to come together. I vented my struggles to a friend who sympathized and said that he too struggled from analysis paralysis. And then it clicked. I thought, I need to make work about my struggles with creativity - that elusive place between thinking and just making - planning and no planning - the scary place in the mind where things both exist and do not until action is taken.

SECOND OF TWO

In contradiction with Analysis Paralysis, Tenebris is about planning and me going through the darkness of the mind to foresee complications, to simulate reality, and to be precise and accurate without too much real world trial. Basically, I wanted to test myself and things were going to go according to plan and theory or it’s literally back to the drawing board. With everything assembled and put together before the final firing, I gave myself little room for error. 

The doorway at the end of the dark tunnel with mechanical components is effectively my metaphor for all of this. I can’t just be in my mind, the door looking inward needs to open, the plan has to give birth to action. 

I wish I could say it all went according to plan. However, unforeseen complications arose and the canopy that would rotate to illuminate or darken a path down the tube to the doorway warped and is inoperable. The slit down the tube that would have let in light for the path also closed up due to how porcelain likes to warp in firing. Fortunately, steps were taken so that the functionality of the Iris mechanism was prioritized and even if the path and canopy failed, the main features were to survive.